Cycle Day Three

We're taking a break from any ARTs this month, but I did call the RE's today to ask them what's next for us. The nurse suggested a consultation with our doctor, and she said she wouldn't be surprised if he recommended we move on to IVF.

We're emotionally ready to do so, I'm just trying to figure out the finances. With our home, like everyone else's, depreciating in equity, I guess we'll have to look into other loan options because I don't want to use anymore of our equity. It seems that C@pital One has a loan program for fertility treatments. So, that may be the route we go. For those of you who have BTDT, f you have any other suggestions, I'm open to hearing them.

It doesn't help that Michael is losing his Disneyland gig at the end of next week. I think Disneyland is anticipating the next two or three months to be slow, and they're adjusting their personnel schedules accordingly. They've assured him that they are not changing his status and that he's still on the sub list. I believe he'll get his days back come spring, but we'll miss that steady income in the meantime.

Anyway, we'll be meeting with our doctor on Wednesday, which is also the day Michael has his prostate biopsy. We don't expect to have any results from the biopsy until several days after the procedure. If you're the praying kind, please pray for cancer-free results.

As we enter 2009, I just feel like there are so many things that could go wrong. But I'm holding fast to my faith. In fact, the last week I spent some time after our negative beta test praying about what direction we should go in next. Is it time to lay it down, give it up, do IVF, look into adoption, what? The sense I got was that we should "press on" - that was very clear in my mind. But, I didn't know if that was my own heart telling me what I wanted to hear, or something (or someone) greater. So, my next prayer was that if that wasn't me, that the Lord affirm that direction.

Sometime later, I'm looking for a new wallpaper for my desktop on the internet (the picture above). I find one of mountains covered in snow, and it has a Bible verse. I glance at the verse, choose the wallpaper, and don't give it another thought.

The next morning I'm looking more closely at the verse and part of it just pops out at me:

Let us acknowledge the LORD;

let us press on to acknowledge Him.

As surely as the sun rises,

he will appear;

he will come to us like winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.

Hosea 6:3

I was certain at that moment that we are to move forward with the option(s) given to us - that it isn't time to give up, yet. I was really encouraged and strengthened. So, if Dr. D. recommends we begin to prepare for IVF, I am up for that. I don't know how we'll afford it, but I do believe that if this is what the Lord wants for us, he'll provide the resources for us to do so. 

Sigh...

It's going to be a very interesting week coming up!