Peace

Sometime after my meltdown yesterday, I got around to doing my Bible study and in doing so was able to refocus on the situation with a spiritual lens. Perhaps, someday I'll be able to see things through that lens before I let my emotions rule my reaction to every disappointment, but I'm far from that now.

I've mentioned before that I've been working on Beth Moore's Jesus: 90 Days with the One and Only, and yesterday's lesson was titled Go in Peace. The key verse for the lesson was, "Your faith has saved you. Go in peace." (Luke 7:50)

Through the reading and reflecting, I felt the message for me in the lesson, and in light of the day's challenges, was that I should move forward with peace of mind because God is in control. I also had to consider that Satan can use this infertility experience to disrupt my peace. And, you know what? I really don't want to play into that. I need to recognize that when it's happening and turn my heart in a different direction.

The lesson ended with a reference to Hannah who was desperate for a child. Long story short (but its a good story if you have time to read it for yourself!), she was overheard praying in the temple by the priest. Hers was a "wailing" prayer (I was doing a little wailing myself yesterday). In her prayer she wails, "Don't think of me as a wicked woman; I've been praying from the depth of my anguish and resentment." And the priest responded, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant the petition you have requested of Him" (1 Samuel 1:15-17).

So, that's how I'm going to move forward - in peace, with the knowledge I have in God's ability to do more than I can imagine. He knew that Michael was going to have to leave sooner than planned. This is no surprise to Him.