Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Little of This, A Little of That

The weekend was difficult, but we seem to be charting calmer waters now. It seems that every time I/we make some spiritual growth, or gain a new understanding of the Word, that within a short time we are encountering new conflicts and difficulties. Saturday morning we met with our pastor friend Ray and had a good time of teaching and praying with him, but he warned me that we would be challenged in the hours and days to come. He was so right. I'm beginning to see the importance of starting my day in the Word and in prayer to better prepare me for difficult moments. Now that I'm not working, that can become part of my daily routine.

Ah, yes, now that I'm not working...

I have begun an indefinite leave of absence from work to stay home and care for Michael. I have great peace about this. Last week and this week my class has been with a good friend and great substitute teacher, and next week my long-term substitute will take over. I have a lot of confidence in both of them, and I know my students will continue to receive a fine education while I'm gone. I am relieved to be able to focus all that I have on Michael's care.

Yesterday, Michael had a catheter inserted in his right lung. During the procedure the doctors drained off another liter of fluid. Aside from some discomfort at the site of the catheter, he is breathing easier and not coughing as much as before. His pain has been well-managed with low doses of oxycodone. The catheter will enable us to drain any more fluid at home instead of making return trips to the hospital.

This morning we had a visit from the intake nurse with hospice. She fully assessed our situation here and ordered up everything we needed. Just a little while ago, a hospital bed and some other items were delivered to the house. Later in the week we will meet the nurse and the home health aide assigned to us.

We spent the afternoon enjoying a visit with a dear friend of Michael's who brought us an incredible dinner (thanks, Eric!), and Michael's Aunt Sally and his mom. Now he's tuckered out and he's napping on the couch next to me. I'm always amazed at his ability to sleep sitting up. I don't know how people do that.

Tomorrow holds a couple more short visits with dear friends. Seems I'm not the only one who finds this guy incredibly lovable!

Here's the devotion from Streams in the Desert that I read this morning that sums up some of the teaching we've been given lately:

God here speaks in the immediate present (referring to Joshua 1:2). It is not something He is going to do, but something He does do, this moment. So faith ever speaks. So God ever gives. So He is meeting you today, in the present moment. This is the test of faith. So long as you are waiting for a thing, hoping for it, looking for it, you are not believing. It may be hope, it may be earnest desire, but it is not faith; for "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." The command in regard to believing prayer is the present tense. "When you pray, believe that you receive the things that you desire, and you shall have them." Have we come to that moment? Have we met God in His everlasting NOW?

This is what I'm trying to wrap my head around these days, and I'm trying to lead Michael in this as well. I can see his faith growing. He shared some really sweet things about Jesus with us today. Makes me love him even more.


mekate said...

I wanted to write again and suggest the obvious-- that you two make time for yourselves in the midst of wonderful well wishers and visitors-- I love to think of you holding hands, of sleeping or napping together, of just sitting and being in your love.

The reading you share in this post is a great reminder for all of us, all we have is now.

Sending love to you, and strength and peace.

AprilMay said...

Oh friend,
God has convicted me through you...I have been trapped in the "waiting game" for so long! I need to change the way and think and, more importantly, the way I pray! Thank you for teaching me today...and I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

I think about you everyday..
love you my friend..

Noelle said...

I am praying for you tonight.

Paula said...

Thank you for printing that devotional. It really spoke to me. I need to get that book. You're strength of faith through this whole situation is helping me in ways you don't know.

Kayce said...

The devotional is wonderful...I especially loved....."for "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Many prayers and many hugs for you both. And I agree with mekate...enjoy a nap together and some time for the two of you...bask in your love AND faith!

Parisienne Farmgirl said...


We are praying for you both. I am so happy that during this time you are both growing and I am relieved to read that you are taking time from work.
Beyond that my words fail me. You both are so brave and such a testimony as we watch/read you hide in shelter of His wing.

Calico Sky said...

Joannah, I'm so so glad you are able to be home with Michael and spend quality time together. I think about you both every day and pray.

That devotional is wonderful, such a hard hard topic.

Michele said...

I am so happy that you are able to take a leave from work and spend your time and energy on Michael and yourself. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well. He needs you to be healthy and strong so that you can be there for him.
In my prayers,

tireegal68 said...

Hi I'm here from LFCA. I just wanted to say that I am praying for you both and that I admire your courage. I am glad you reached out and told people what you needed in your last post. And the devotional in this one really spoke to me. Sending love and hope your way.

Karen said...

just stumbled on your blog through a link from a link from i think Lost and Found.

please know that i am thinking of you and your husband and wishing you both peace.


K said...

You have my prayers and support at this time. It's been about a week since I checked in and I'm sad to read that treatment isn't working and that you've started hospice.

Your journey now is one I took with my grandmother two years ago and I still feel the great blessing and honor I was given to have had that experience with her. Yes, it was sad, I'm still sad, because I miss her, but I believe in Christ's plan of salvation and I have a strong testimony that birth and death are miracles and it's a blessing to witness and share them.

I'm so glad that you are in a position to take time off work and savor the moments to come. Time will cease to exist in your house and it will be filled with love, love for each other and the love you have for Christ and the love Christ has for you. I hope you take pictures because when I was caring for my grandmother I did by setting the timer on the camera or the video and when I look at those pictures, the altered state of such love and timelessness actually shows.

I will pray for Michael's physical comfort and for both of you to be filled with peace and comfort in your hearts and souls.

Tracee said...

My heart and prayers go out to the two of you. Y'all are walking a journey no one should have to walk. May God bless you and keep you.