Last Week

That was a tough week!

I have not been feeling well, and I had to miss another day of school. Ever since I was on all those antibiotics during IVF, I have had problems with my digestive system, and it's becoming disruptive to my everyday life. On Thursday, I couldn't even stand up straight I was in so much discomfort. My greatest concern is that my ulcerative colitis will come out of remission. But if I call my doctor about it, I will have to wait who knows how many weeks before I see her, and she will just refer me to the gastroenterologist. And, then I'll wait some more while I get a referral to see the gastroenterologist (we have HMO insurance - shades of socialized medicine...). Then the gastroenterologist will want to do a colonoscopy. I'd rather avoid all that, if I can, because I can see it interfering with the FET. So, for now, my plan is to start a probiotic and see if that puts my system back in balance. I wish I'd thought of this weeks ago.

Anyway, I've been feeling so lousy that we were only able to walk on Monday, and haven't walked or exercised since then. Hopefully, I will feel good enough today to get a walk in.

On Friday afternoon, I participated in an IEP meeting regarding one of my students. While I can't go into the details here, just let me say that I am so sick of the lying, neglect, blame, etc., that come from some parents who are PINOs (parents in name only). I've been grumpy about it all weekend. These precious children deserve better. In just eight weeks, it's no longer any of my concern (officially), but I worry about some of these kids and the way they are having to grow up. Breaks my heart.

This week I will have an office hysteroscopy. Dr. D. wants to make sure that a septum has not reformed before we do the FET this summer. Wouldn't you know it, they want to put me on antibiotics again for this procedure. My gosh! I've taken more antibiotics this year than I've taken in the ten years before now.

Yesterday, I had to process the news that some family members are expecting their first child. I am so happy for them, but sad for us. Why is it that other people's good news has to hurt my feelings? I hate that! I remember feeling this way when I was single and other people would announce their engagements. I guess it's human nature to feel that way. Anyway, I think I'm over the worst of it now. The wonderful possibility is that if we do succeed in this quest to have children, they will have some cousins about their age to grow up with. That would be very sweet.

In my sadness yesterday, I was recalling a song in my memory by Margaret Becker called Say the Name. It's about the power in the name of Jesus. I have been calling on His name this week in my struggles. I needed to hear that song, so I found it on iTunes and downloaded it. Then I went on a search for more CCM songs from the late 80s and 90s that I had loved but that I never hear on the radio anymore. I came away with about twenty songs from Bryan Duncan, Twila Paris, The Imperials, Russ Taff, Leslie Phillips, Michael W. Smith, and Steven Curtis Chapman. Good stuff! When I focus on the right things my heart aches less.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - 

if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. 

Phillipians 4:8