Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fertility Update

Despite our doctor's experience that many of the couples he has worked with conceive the first month after a laparoscopy, I'm seriously doubting that will happen for us. My cycle seems off due to several factors, and today I called the doctor's office to see if that's normal. The nurse said it is really normal and not to worry. So, we'll let this cycle run its course and then we may give it another cycle before moving on to a Follistim cycle, or not. Maybe we'll move on to that next.

We have another potential glitch in our attempts to conceive, too. Michael has an elevated PSA - that's the prostate specific antigen detected in his blood. He's had this for a while, and a biopsy a few years ago detected no cancer cells. However, it has continued to increase, so another biopsy is in order this fall. As much as I want to conceive, his health is so much more important to me, and so we'll do whatever we have to do to ensure that he's well even if it totally changes the way our future plays out.

I think that in the past I wouldn't have handled this uncertainty as well as I think I'm handling it at this point. My trust in the Lord has grown by leaps and bounds this year, and when I find myself dwelling on the "what ifs" I just refocus my thoughts on the Lord's goodness and his constant provision for us. Then I experience a greater sense of peace. But, infertility is truly a test of one's faith and determination. It can wear you down and break your heart. I'm thankful that I can find my strength in God.


Jenna said...

It is amazing to me that through infertility your faith has grown. Through infertility and pregnancy loss I had a hard time in the faith department. Even though I have been blessed with an amazing son there is still so much pain that I have to work on to break down the walls that I have put up.
I will keep you guys in my prayers.

OH MY #6 said...

the above comment says how amazing it is that your faith has grown. That alone is a gift. I applaud you. You are truly amazing.

Have the best day.


Pixel Fairy Princess said...

That is beautiful. We can do all thing in Christ who strengths us, I am praying for you my friend :D
Ladybug hugs,

Homemakerang said...

i cannot imagine this at all... You do have GREAT strength in your Lord and Savior. I will say the strangest thing about pregnancy is that it happens when you least expect it and I am very amazed that when i am preg i do not even really feel to much different at first and am alwasy shocked i am preg.

Alex and Jill said...

I agree with what you've said 110%. :) I was just talking to my sister today, about how I can't imagine going through infertility without my faith. I would feel absolutely lost.

Thank you for your prayers and for the encouraging comments on my blog. Know that I pray for you and Michael every day. I will be praying specifically for his health as well.


Paula said...

You are so right. Anything that life throws me is ok because God is with me ALWAYS.

Kayce said...

Your strength is wonderful Joannah. And as you said to a similar post of mine...amen You and Michael are in my prayers always.

Tori said...

You my love are in my prayers too. Just going through a little bit of this with the surrogacy has given me a glimpse of the infertility struggle so many couples go through.

Will be thinking of Micheal too.

Kisses and strength.


Shannon said...

You are an amazing,strong, lovely and inspiring woman. Good things will happen. You both are in my prayers.

Kristin said...

There is so much grace in being able to accept things that we cannot change and to instead focus on our blessings... your family will happen.

Momma and ZZ said...

So happy for you that your trust in the Lord has grown and that you know how to refocus on his goodness when circumstances bring you down. We walk by faith, not by sight. And faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Saying a prayer for Michael right now.