Friday, December 28, 2007

My period started today. It came a few days later than I would have expected it to, and that gave us hope that the fertility routine we'd followed last month had been successful. Not so.

Sigh...

No tears here, though. It's just too soon for me to give up hope and let my emotions get the best of me.

Here's where we've been so far:

Because of our ages, we were able to get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist a few months ago. We've undergone all the initial tests, and almost everything is as it should be. Although, ahem, there aren't as many "boys on the team" as there should be. Enough to still play the game, though. Don't you love my euphemisms? ;-) I hope you catch my drift.

So, this last cycle we tried a little clomid and an IUI - two actually. We were really hopeful that it would work the first time, but alas it has not. I had four follicles, two really nice ones, but no luck. As I said before, I'm not broken up about it, just disappointed.

I just don't know what lies ahead. More IUIs? Yes, for now. IVF? Adoption? Who knows? Only time will tell.

I do know that many of you came to adoption after suffering from infertility, so perhaps you know what we're going through from personal experience. I have a wonderful, caring husband and a super supportive family, but most of my friends are done having babies. Therefore, I don't really feel like I have other women to talk to who can relate on a personal level. So, I guess I'm putting this out there to ask for your support, and the wisdom of your experiences on the journey to motherhood.

20 comments:

Mom2Boober-Do said...

I know lots of your readers have wiser words, as so many have been down this road. But, even though it may seem a small thing, I will be praying for you- :O)

Michelle said...

You crack me up. We didn't have as many "boys on our team" either. But the problem turned out to me me anyway. My insides were all messed up. It sounds like you don't have any major problems though, so that's good. The only advice I can give is to just keep trying. We tried for five years, and although we never achieved pregnancy(well, okay, one time, but it was over before it even started), it did put us on the path to Sophie and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Even a pregnancy(it took me sooooo long to get to the point where I could say that). I'll also say an extra prayer for you guys. Good luck!

Two Kayaks said...

I'm sorry Joannah. Fertility tricks us so often and we begin to distrust our bodies like never before. K2 and I are the poster children for fertility tips, tricks and treatments (sadly). You know where to find me if you ever want to talk, to discuss options, to vent, etc. I'm here for you, sweet girl. I think that we have undergone every test, taken every drug and have done IUIs and IVFs out the you-know-what. I have some great internet resources as well.

Shelley said...

We tried for 3-1/2 years back when I was in my 30s, Rich early 40s. What finally did the trick was a "hystiopingram" (spelled phonetically) - a test done in the early stages of fertility treatments to see if there is a blockage. Dye is shot into your tubes and an xray taken. This process "opens things up and clears things out" more than usual, and we were told that 33% of couples who try right after this test, conceive successfully. The result was Gillian.

The test is not typically "comfortable" and because I'm such a wimp, I took a few Vicodin beforehand. It was a pretty comical session, as I was loopy as a jay-bird.

Our decision to adopt Char was not due to infertility. We hadn't even tried. We were just very open to other ways to complete our family and really wanted to adopt.

I'll be saying prayers for you and really hope things happen early for you two. I know it can get pretty frustrating to see that period arrive.

wzgirl said...

Best of the bestest luck to you, Joannah. I'm remembering now about some emailing we did last Christmas & how much has changed for you. So many lovely changes.

Best thing that you can do with regard to the fertility tx is hold tight to that upbeat attitude that you have.

XO

Shannon said...

No advice, just sending positive thoughts your way! =)

Donna & Joe said...

Joannah, we didn't go through fertility treatments, but did spend about 5 years trying to have a biological child. After years of monthly ovulation kits and several miscarriages, we decided to skip any treatments and go straight to adoption.

I'm praying that you are able to get pregnant and maintain the pregnancy all the way to term. Hang in there and know that you do have other options for motherhood if this isn't in God's plan, but I really think it is in His plan for you!

Donna :)

Mob said...

I tried clomid once and didn't like the hormonal roller coaster it put my body through. We decided to go straight to adoption instead of all the IVF treatments. But, everyone has their own path and you have to go where you feel God is leading you. You will know in your heart what is right for you. :)

redmaryjanes said...

It took me 6 months to conceive Zachary, 1 month for Tyler and almost 2 years of no protection for Elijah. My OB said not to worry about anything for a year. Tim has slow swimmers but that didn't stop anything. Try not to get too down. My closest girlfriend went through fertility treatments for over a year for her first and then became pregnant easily with her second. I wouldn't worry just yet.

M3 said...

Sending you lots of support and love (and understanding!). We've been there, so email me if you want to talk about anything at all. Any questions, procedures, emotions, whatever. :-)

Big hugs!

Jacquie said...

I developed infertility after my 1st DD was born. I started clomid after 4 yeas of trying and was pregnant after 3 rounds (it worked that way with my last 2 DD's).

Without to much pressure, I also had success with the BBT (basal body temperature) method along with the drugs. There is a free website I went to that was awesome www.fertilityfriend.com

OziMum said...

Hope the "boys" "pool" together for a "hole in one" next month!!

rubyiscoming said...

I'm very sorry you are suffering through fertility treatments and wondering every month "what if" - we went through this in 2003, 2004 and early 2005 before deciding on adoption.

We decided on China and then recently tried for a domestic adoption that was a complete scam by the birth mother - I never thought I could feel lower than I do now.

BUT - there is GOOD. You and your husband have something special. Hang on that. My relationship with J is the ONE solid thing I can rely on. That love and that bond with your husband is crucial to make it through -

I wish you much luck and urge you to keep your sense of humor. And try and see a lot of movies at the theater. With popcorn. And butter. And Twizzlers. It really helped us through the fertility world.

xo

Lisa and Tate said...

I really do not have experience to pass on, but I do have well wishes and prayers. As always, I recommend CHOCOLATE for everything.... maybe it will help?

HUGE HUGS
Lisa

Abby's Mom said...

Sending prayers and crossing my fingers for you!

David said...

Hang in there..it's not fun! I'll be praying for you all!

i-Con said...

I've been in the game on the professional level and on the personal level. Yep, too early to get frustrated. You two will be in my thoughts. It's always the uncertainly of "how" or "how long" that make things difficult no matter how a family comes to be.

I hope the power hitter comes up to bat soon.

Anonymous said...

Please don't take this the wrong way, but at 40 your odds of getting pregant diminish greatly. Your RE should be upfront and let you know what your chances are at 40. There is hope, but the odds go down because women are born with all the eggs they will ever have and the quality goes down with age. Don't waste time with clomid. It decreases the uterine lining and makes implantation harder, especially in older women. Try a few IUI's and then if you can or need to, do IVF. IVF can at least give you an idea of egg quality. Every month is important at this age. I hope this does not sound negative, but it is realist. Good luck!

Alyson & Ford said...

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. Yep, we had same problem with not "enough boys" and then after a couple of years found out I was a problem too. We were very SLOW learners and waited too long!! (my DH has (had) two kids when we married 22 years ago so I am blessed with "steps" and two beautiful grand-babies)!!!
Don't wait too long, be aggressive with your plan.
So now we know how to wait for our China daughter. Good luck. We wish you the best!!
Alyson
LID 01/27/06

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

Been there, done that, bought the Tshirt.

I think the course each of us take to build our family is very different, and very personal. You and Michael will know what path is right for you.

If it helps, I remember all to well that punch in the gut feeling you get each month when you start your period, especially after a late period. The big tease.....

Hang in there. The best thing I can say to you is keep your options open. If you keep your options open you WILL be a mommy. Building a family is a challenge and sometimes you have to take one step at a time. You will know what steps to take.