Our Vigil

Although Michael started off the day better than he was yesterday, it was obvious that he is changing. I wish the changes were positive, but they don't seem to be. He refused to eat or drink much of anything today, seemed out of touch with reality, and became more and more physically restless. I had to start giving him an anti-anxiety medication as he was trying to get out of bed. He is much too weak to do so without hurting himself. When he was having a hard time last night, I asked him if he was giving up and he said soon. Sigh...

Lots of tears have been shed today.

We had visits in the afternoon and evening from my mother-in-law's parish priest and from our Pastor Ray. Michael has been blessed and prayed over so tenderly by both of these godly men. I know we were all comforted by the words and compassion they shared with us.

Tonight I contacted hospice and asked if we could transition to their "continuous care" program. So our case worker came out and assessed Michael. She says his blood pressure is low, his pulse is fast, and his upper lungs are clear, but she agreed that we both will benefit from having some ongoing assistance from here on out. She couldn't give me any sort of a timeline because of his young age and strong heart, but she acknowledged that his body is changing.

I'm expecting the overnight nurse to arrive by midnight, and my parents are here with me until then.

Right now Michael seems comfortable. The lights are low. I've got hymns softly playing. And I'm hoping he will have a peaceful night.