Sunday, January 17, 2010

Just Breathe

Well, since we've been home Michael's condition has changed a little. I had him get on the scale yesterday, and he's down to 140 pounds. Each day without the oxygen system seemed to weaken him and his stress level increased. My mom ordered a system for him last week, but it has not arrived yet. So last night, after a nice dinner with our parents, my mom and dad contacted a friend of theirs who has a home oxygen system. This friend was not using the machine and graciously offered to let my parents borrow it for Michael. Before bedtime, Michael was back on oxygen, and as a result he had to cough a lot less last night and spit up less fluid. I am so thankful that he has this available to him at home.

I'm also under more stress than I should be, and I wish there was some sort of machine that would make it all better for me. As if all my concerns for Michael, the deaths of my grandmothers, and our failed IVF in the last nine months is not enough to bear, work is a hotbed of conflict for me right now. When do I get a break? It's taking a toll on me physically and emotionally.

For now, I am happy to be home with Michael this long weekend. We are going to do some preliminary work on our tax return, play some Scrabble, and tomorrow we are looking forward to a visit from Pastor Ray. I haven't been attending church because it's harder and harder to leave Michael unless someone else is here with him, but it will be good to talk and pray with Pastor Ray. Michael has been more and more receptive to the Lord. He led us in prayer for me yesterday asking God to help me in my difficulties at work. I think he is able to see God's hand in our lives now. I think it's all becoming more real to him. That is a huge source of comfort and joy to me. Thanks to each of you who continue to pray for his spiritual health, as well as his physical healing. God is at work in Michael's heart, and it's exciting to see.


elainaann said...

Glad to hear that things are looking a little better. Will continue to pray for you and Michael.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Dearest Joannah...just wanted to stop by and let you know that I'm taking a break from blogging for a while to dig out from under an avalanche of work...but I want you to know that I continue to pray daily for you and Michael!!! I am very encouraged by your post's final paragraph...and will pray all the more fervently!! If at some point you want to talk, and I'm still on my break, you can visit my site, click on the "bio" tab and then click on the "email me" button in the top right hand corner...I'm still here for you...and I've got a soft shoulder!! Love you so much, Janine XO

MomMom said...

Joannah, I am sorry to hear that you're feeling so stressed (but you have every right to) and that Michael is having so much trouble breathing, etc. However, I am very thankful he got the oxygen machine that will help him some and also so truly thankful that he is more receptive to God's work in his life. May God bless you both with peace and comfort---and healing for Michael.

Kathy and Joel said...

You deserve nothing like this. Nothing. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why ANYONE at work would be making your life miserable right now.
I can't do much for you being so far away, but I can pray and I'm going to try to get a whole host of other people in our blogging community to do the same. Tomorrow, you'll see. Hopefully!

Alex and Jill said...

I can only imagine the stress you feel. I lift you up daily, as well as Michael. The last paragraph of this post made me smile...I'm so happy to hear that God is working in Michael's heart.


Donna said...

I wish there was a machine that could help you too! Heck, I'd buy it for you if it existed! My thoughts and prayers are with you and Michael always!


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