Thursday, March 20, 2008

Infertile Thoughts

Yesterday my dearest friend told me that she and her significant other are trying to get pregnant. I am really happy for her. She's been through a lot to be in a place where this is a step she's ready to take. I'm also happy that I may get to share the experience of pregnancy and motherhood with someone I'm so close to at the same time in life. Most of my friends will practically be empty nesters before my kids (if I am so blessed) are even in kindergarten.

But after she told me, there was this part of me that seemed alarmed. There was this little fear of her succeeding at something that I haven't yet. I hate that a thought like that crept into my mind. But it did.

So, I had to capture that thought and deal with it.

This isn't a competition.

My friend and I are both on our own timelines.

God is using this time to prepare me and my husband for having a family.

I just want to be in a place in my heart to be happy for anyone who gets pregnant while I'm still waiting.

I don't want to let infertility negatively impact my friendships.

Infertility seems to be as much a battle of the mind as it is a battle of biology.

7 comments:

2weeks2much said...

I'm on the same page as you. I have to remember those same things. You are right, we have to genuinely be happy for others regardless of how long our journey takes.

Glinda said...

How right you, dear Joannah.

But, way to turn it into a positive, which I believe has a huge impact on our bodies...positive thinking and visualization!

Lisa and Tate said...

I hear ya honey!!! I am still waiting while friends have kiddos almost grown or those planning on families, holding their babies. It stinks. But in God's time. You will have a little one, I just know it!

Hugs
Lisa

OH MY #6 said...

this post is so impressive.

Lea

Two Kayaks said...

You are so right. Much of what we go through is psychological. Not that our infertility is in our head, but the drive to become a parent and the losses we incur can cloud our vision and make us think things that we otherwise wouldn't. Stay strong, my sweet friend.

Mob said...

Gosh, I sure know how you feel. When we were trying (for years), I always felt resentment towards my friends who would get pregnant. Then I would feel awful that I felt that way. I truly was happy for them, but jealousy would kick in too. I really don't like that side of me.

Shannon said...

Thinking of you.