Time For...

...chicken noodle soup.

I'm all stuffed up and my eyes are watering. I think I'm coming down with a cold. Bummer!

So, tonight I'm making my mother's chicken noodle soup recipe. Delicious and therapeutic.

Our Next Steps

Over the weekend we made some decisions about how we should proceed from here with our quest to become pregnant. Since we know what is causing the low count, and since it's something that can be fixed, we're going to have it fixed. After reading an article about the procedure that will need to be performed, we spoke with a friend of mine who is an interventional radiologist in Denver. He has performed the procedure more than 100 times in his career, and he knows it has a good success rate with minimal risks and a quick recovery time. He started doing some networking for us, and he contacted a local interventional radiologist on our behalf. We are now working with our health insurance system to get a referral to that doctor and schedule the procedure as soon as possible.

The drawbacks are that we may sacrifice as much as six months while we get this set up and while Michael fully recovers, but we feel that this is preferable to moving on to IVF. We are pretty sure that's the direction our REs would encourage us to take, especially since they both discouraged us from pursuing this corrective procedure before. Our doctor friend stressed that IVF should be our last resort.

So, with all this we're having to adjust expectations. When we married, we expected to have a child later this year. Now we'll be very happy to achieve a pregnancy sometime later this year. But we're both feeling good about our decision and optimistic about the future. The support we got from our friend was also a real boost. He's someone I'd trust with my life, and I know he gave us advice based on sound knowledge, experience, and a real concern for our well-being.

Our first doctor's appointment with our primary care physician is a week-and-a-half from now, and that's when we'll get the ball rolling. She's the one who needs to refer us on to the specialist. If you're one to pray, please pray that we'll receive the proper referrals in a timely manner and that the insurance company won't hold this process up for us. :-)

I Wish You Enough

My sweet husband forwarded this email to me the other day. I think his mom had emailed it to him. The story it was embedded in was a little too melodramatic for me so I've edited it here, but I really like the sentiment of the wish - especially right now. I hope it brings a little sunshine to your heart this Sunday morning.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.


I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

I wish you a beautiful day!

Feeling Blue

So, I decided to take the day off today. I'm in a little bit of a funk, and experiencing the usual malaise that goes with "that time of the month". While I have managed to shower and put on a little makeup, I'm still in my big, fluffy robe lounging on the couch. I only feel moderately guilty for not doing anything productive with myself. The laundry can wait, I guess.

I have mixed feelings about not doing our third IUI this cycle. It means that it's highly unlikely that I'll be pregnant this coming month. Our reasoning for putting it off one more cycle is that because of Michael's travel schedule, his "contribution" would have to be frozen. Freezing kills those little guys, thereby lowering the count. Not good. So, we'll save our thousand bucks and try again later.

In the meantime, I think we both hope that not having to go through the IUI process again right now will allow us to decompress a little bit and enjoy being together more. Fertility treatments are wonderful in that they can result in a pregnancy and ultimately children. But the many doctor's appointments, drugs, procedures, and their expense have added stress to our life.

So, I'm resolving to just enjoy being my husband's wife for the next three or four weeks and not dwell on our fertility issues for a little while.

Thanks for all the kind comments and emails. You guys are the best!

Feeling Sort of Sad

I came home early with a terrible headache this afternoon. I really wanted to take something, but I was reluctant to do so if I'm pregnant. So, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. I called the doctor's office and asked if I really need to come in at 6:30 am tomorrow if I've got this negative test here at home. That, and I really feel like my period is going to start in the next day or so. The nurse said yes, I need to come in. She said there's a possibility that my test is inaccurate, and she also said that they wouldn't want to start my next cycle of medication without being sure that I'm not pregnant. So, I'll be up very early tomorrow morning for that appointment, but I will be surprised (to say the least) if I'm pregnant at this point.

************

UPDATE: I started overnight, so I don't have to go in to the doctor's this morning. Michael and I have decided to postpone IUI #3 for one cycle. We just need a break. I'm okay. It will happen. We'll be parents someday.

Three for Me!

Three days that is. I love a long weekend! Thank you, Dr. King.

I wish I could say I've got exciting plans, but that's not the case. Michael's working in San Francisco tonight, so I've got the next 24 hours to myself. Those hours will fill up with the usual stuff: laundry, errands, and some housecleaning. I'm also trying to psych myself up for pruning the backyard this weekend. The weather is perfect for it, so I've really got not excuses. Tomorrow there is an antique market down the street, so I might walk over there and check it out. I haven't done that in a long time, and it would be fun.

Monday morning we're taking Buffy to see veterinarian #3. We know she needs the TPLO surgery. Our regular vet doesn't perform that surgery. The first specialist we saw told us he'd charge between $3200 - $3800. What? That's just for one knee! The surgeon we're seeing Monday charges between $2600 -$2900. It's still a big chunk of change, but we'd save several hundred dollars.

Poor Buffy!

Poor us! So, we're hoping for a big tax return this year.

Enjoy your weekend!

Looking Good...

The results of my blood test were that my progesterone level is 30 - anything higher than 10 is good according to the nurse. It was 28 last cycle, so not much has changed this time. I'm feeling good, and hopefully next week's blood test will be good news for us.

Thanks for all your comments on my last post. I appreciate your support, and I thank you for calling anonymous names! Ha! I liked what Kristin said about my decision not being the abandonment of a child, but rather the idea or intention of becoming a parent to a child through adoption. I would never have discontinued a process in which I already knew who my child was. I just wasn't willing to put our lives on hold for an unknown amount of time. And that is what The Wait has become - unknown. I couldn't even project what year I would receive a referral!

I know you all don't need me to justify my decision. You get it. And I thank you for that.

Wow, Indeed!

Here's a creepy comment from my old blog "just for jillian" that I received this morning:

Adoption is not a second choice. If you already had your daughter before you got married, would you just give her away? So sad that there are people like you who view adoption this way. Wow.

Naturally, it was anonymous.

So sad that there are people like this commenter who feel like they know it all. Adoption is a wonderful thing. No doubt about it, and I wish I could have done both - finish the adoption and get married. What has happened with the program I was involved with however forced me to choose between the two.

Isn't it amazing that some people have to make their narrow-minded, judgmental, and militant views public?

Oh, puh-lease!

Well, if that's so, you must be a genius because you're reading my blog!

One week of waiting down. One more to go. I'm going in for a blood test tomorrow morning - at the ungodly time of 6:30 a.m. - that will measure my progesterone level. It was normal last time, and I'm expecting it to be so again tomorrow. Compared to last month, I think I've been less obsessed about every little thing my body does during this wait. It also helps that I'm back at work instead of sitting here at home with Michael and constantly discussing the possibility. Spiritually, I've just left my concerns in God's hands. I believe we'll get pregnant when we're supposed to, and I'm choosing to trust His timing in the matter. It's working for me right now.

Two more days at work until my three-day weekend. Yes! I'm going to start it off right with a massage on Friday afternoon. I can hardly wait!

Weekend Plans

We've got a busy weekend planned here at Casa Labrador. Michael is doing a little electrical work this morning in preparation for our new fiber optic internet connection later today. My email address will be changing once that installation is done, so be looking for an email from me to you with the new address. I'll change the email link here on Blogger, too.

So, while Michael handles the technical aspects of today's tasks, I'm going to be doing this:


I think I'll only be able to get the roses in the front yard done this weekend, and I'll try to do the backyard next weekend. It's not a favorite task of mine, but once done I'll get to enjoy lots of these come spring:


Tonight we're planning to meet Michael's parents for dinner at Mel's Drive-in. I've been to a Mel's in San Francisco, but I've never known them to be a Southern California establishment before. However, one just opened in a neighboring city. Michael's step-dad had mentioned that he was excited about trying it out, and I told him it wasn't too far from us and to let us know when they were going and we'd join them. So, tonight's the night. I haven't said much about my in-laws on the blog, but they are such sweet people. Michael's mom was divorced with seven children already when she met Tony. He was smitten with her, but she told him she was busy raising and providing for all those kids, and if he wasn't serious to forget about it. He was serious. He married her and became a wonderful father to Michael and all his brothers and sisters. Michael has a lot of respect for Tony, and he calls him Dad.

Michael is working tomorrow, and then we're going to my sister's for dinner to celebrate Rebecca's sixteenth birthday - again. We started celebrating with our lunch at the tea salon. Her birthday was Thursday, and she's got special plans today with her friends. I told my sister that Rebecca really is Sweet Sixteen. She has such a sweet nature, is multi-talented, and an excellent student. We are all so very proud of her. It's been a delight watching her grow into a young woman.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Two Weeks to Wait

Well, this morning we completed the second round of our second IUI cycle. We have been at the RE's every morning for the last three days. It's beginning to feel like our home away from home. All seems to have gone well.

While we were waiting to make our payment before we left (insurance covers nothing, ugh!), we looked at dozens of pictures of the babies our REs have helped their patients conceive. There were so many pictures of twins and triplets, and they were just darling, of course. We know that there's a possibility of conceiving multiples. I'm excited about that possibility, but Michael isn't crazy about the idea. I'm sure he'd come around, if it became a reality.

So, now we wait...

Looking Good

I had one of these today:


I've got two 30+ mm follicles ready to go. They're so big I can feel them in there - ouch! Maybe this will be our month...

P.S. Those aren't my follies. I just snagged that picture from go*ogle. Mine are bigger! ;-) Gotta hit the road - IUI #2 this morning.

2008 Travel Plans

My husband let me know today that I'll be joining him in New York City for a week over my Spring Break. I'm SO excited! I haven't been to NYC since I was 17. I can't wait to experience it again - with my husband! New York is one of Michael's favorite cities, too. Anyway, Michael will be working the first few days we're there. So, I'll have some time on my own. I think a couple of you live not too far outside the city (Stephanie?). So, let me know if you want to meet up for some fun!

And...


He also booked us tickets to Oahu at the end of July! I've been to Maui and Kauai, but never Oahu. I've started looking for a cottage or condo to rent in Kailua - close to the beach. And I want to see Pearl Harbor and Waikiki. There's a lot to do on Oahu, or so I've heard. I know we'll have lots of fun.

I love having travel plans to look forward to. I just love it!

Tea Cups & Knitting Needles

When my husband and I were in Orange on my birthday, we came across this new tea salon there. We took a peek inside, and I was enchanted by its sweet sophistication. I immediately thought it would be a great place to take my niece Rebecca for her sixteenth birthday. So, today my sister, both my nieces, and I enjoyed a delicious lunch there. We sampled their scones, roasted tomato soup, a multi-grains salad, tea sandwiches, fruit and cheese, and petit fours - all of which were scrumptious.

These pictures don't do Paris in a Cup justice, but we were so impressed with its charm and the obvious attention to detail in all aspects of decor and food presentation. I look forward to another occasion for which we can return!

After our tea, my lovely niece (the soon-to-be 16 year old!) gave me a crash course in knitting. I was not a quick study, so I'm going to need lots of practice. But I was happy to try something new and creative. Thanks for being a good (and patient) teacher, Rebecca! I'm going to take up my knitting needles again tomorrow and try it again.

New Year's Day

We started off 2008 by putting away all the Christmas decor. While I didn't really appreciate Michael's method to getting the job done (sort of like a bull in a china shop), I did appreciate his effort and we were done in a lot less time than I would have been on my own.

We then opened a bottle of our favorite champagne and watched a football game. I'm not sure which one it was, but it might have been the Rose Bowl. My eyes sort of glaze over when sports are on the television. I usually grab my laptop, a magazine, or a good book to avoid having to look at the screen. Late in the afternoon, I did begin to complain that I was bored and I thought we were going to do something. He told me if I could get ready in less than an hour we'd go for a walk at the beach. So, I rushed to get ready and we headed down to Seal Beach and took a walk down Main Street and the pier there just in time to see the sunset. It was gorgeous!

I asked Michael if he makes New Year's Resolutions, and he said he doesn't. I'm not surprised. This is a man who really doesn't like change. I admitted that I usually make a few, but then don't keep them. In fact, I've decided not to make any this year. There are things I want to do in this new year, but I don't think I need to make a list to do so. I'd like to spend more time being creative (in what way, I don't know yet), be more active, grow spiritually, and fully enjoy our time as newlyweds. I think that's enough to strive for for now.