The New Normal

Yesterday was hard. Buffy seemed aware that something was different. I had left the clothing I'd worn to the pet hospital on the floor of my bedroom, and she returned to it several times in the morning to sniff it. She was also sniffing Taylor's crate a lot. I decided we needed to make a few changes to help us both deal with our loss.

So, Buffy got an appointment at the beauty parlor, and mama went in search of a nice new bed so that Buffy could sleep in the house instead of the patio room. I found a really pretty bed for her at Home Go*ods. When it was time for me to pick her up at PetSm@art, I looked for a new toy for her and found the Orka Jack. What a great toy! It doesn't seem to be something she'll be able to chew apart, and yet it bounces. It was really affordable, too. I had planned on getting her a K*ong toy, but the Orka was several dollars cheaper. It was made in Chin@, however. I hope it's not tainted in anyway. All those recalls, you know? Ack!

Once we got home, she ran into the house and checked every room in the house. I think she was looking for Taylor. So, I quickly introduced her to her new bed and her new toy. I think the distraction the Orka Jack gives her is beneficial. She is so proud of that toy. When she drops it, it bounces, and that gets her very excited. She just loves it! I think I need to get another one so that she can have one in the yard and one inside, too.

I let her sleep in the house, something I rarely let her and Taylor do in the past because Taylor could be very restless at night. Buffy did really well. She got me up just before 4 am for a potty break, but then went back to her bed and slept until I was ready to get up at 6:45. That would never have happened before!

Michael asked me if we're going to get another dog. I told him I wanted to see how Buffy does on her own. She may be "easier" without another dog to compete with. I've had two dogs for the last ten years I've lived on my own. My motivation for doing so was that I was gone all day, and I wanted them to have companionship while I was away. But two dogs are a lot of work, and the expense is double. So, now that I'm no longer a single girl, and since Michael will be home during the day frequently, I think Buffy may do well on her own. Besides, we're hoping to have a baby next year, and puppies need so much attention and training that it wouldn't be fair to any of us to have a baby and a puppy at the same time.

So, the new normal is a one-dog household. One, soon-to-be very spoiled, beautiful yellow Labrador Retriever.

P.S. Mom, doesn't the first picture remind you of Vanilla? Sometimes when I look at Buffy, I "see" Vanilla. Too bad her temperament isn't more like Vanilla's... ;-)

In Loving Memory

Taylor
1994 (?) - September 29, 2007

Farewell, my faithful and loving friend. Thank you for nearly ten years of good times together. I will remember your boundless energy, your love for the water and tennis balls, and the way you followed me from room to room. You had such a sweet spirit. You blessed all our lives with your goodness.

Now, go enjoy your restored health and join your friends - Heidi, Vanilla, Colvin, and Molly at the Rainbow Bridge. I'll meet up with you all someday, and it will be such a sweet reunion.

I love you, Taylor.

A Long Goodbye

Taylor hasn't been herself for several months now. Over the summer, she became very needy and didn't like going outside at all. If she was left outside for too long (in her opinion), she would bark until I let her back in. It was a desperate bark. It made me a little crazy at times. I thought it was because the flies were bothering her so much, but even after I fitted her with a fly-repellent color, her weird barking continued.

I have noticed that she is very wobbly in her back legs also. She slips and falls on the hard surfaces in the house regularly. Buffy knocks her down at least once a day. Even so, Taylor's appetite has been good, and she's always happy to be with us.

But last night she started barking in the wee hours of the morning, and continued to do so while I got ready for work. I had to let them back in while I got ready because I was afraid she was bothering my neighbors. However, they both went back outside before I left for work.

Since I came home today, Taylor is whining and crying out like she's in pain. She's not interested in her food (very unlike her), she's restless, and she has wet herself in her crate - she has never done that. I spoke with my dad earlier this evening and he helped me realize that now is the time to end her suffering. We don't know what's wrong with her, aside from very old age, but it's obvious that she's not well. And, she's not the happy girl she's always been. My dad is coming up tomorrow afternoon to help me when I take her to the vet. I don't think she'll be coming home with us.

I have shed many tears for my sweet Taylor this afternoon and tonight. It is never easy to come to this fork in the road with a beloved pet. I feel guilty for being impatient with her in recent months. I wish I had been more aware that she was suffering and acted sooner to alleviate her discomfort - to seek advice from the vet.

I wish there were something I could do tonight to help her rest until we can do more for her tomorrow.

It's going to be a long night.

**** Update ****

Taylor was suffering too much to wait for daylight and our scheduled trip to the vet. I decided to take her to the emergency clinic in the middle of the night. My parents met us there, and a very kind veterinarian examined her and assured us we were making the right choice for Taylor. She passed away about 1:30 Saturday morning. We cry for losing her, but take comfort in knowing she no longer suffers.

Better Now

After a little of this:


And a little of this:

I am feeling much better.

After Back to School Night last night, I was desperate for something to take the edge off. I'm telling you, this new class of mine is challenging. In general, they are very immature and irresponsible. They have a terrible time getting their homework turned in. They don't really listen to me, and they don't really follow directions. After meeting some of their parents, it makes perfect sense, because you know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Anyway, I came home with a headache and was in a grumpy mood. My poor fiance didn't know what to make of it when we talked last night. In all the years he's known me, I've rarely complained about my job. The frustrations I'm dealing with now are a bit out of the ordinary, and I do think they are amplified for me because I'm unhappy about Michael being away. Consequently, I was a little needy last night. He deals with my neediness very well when he's home, but when he's about a thousand miles away, there's just not a whole lot he can do for me.

So, once I found some time at work, I made a call to a local day spa and booked a massage for this afternoon. I'm so glad I did. The massage therapist was gifted. I'm not kidding. It might have been the best massage I've ever had. The only drawback was that she talked too much, and then she started talking politics. Sheesh! What's that all about? When she said she admired Al J@zeera, I started grinding my teeth. She was a sweet girl, and very good at massage, but I really didn't appreciate her misguided political ramblings. You would think she'd have more common sense than to discuss controversial topics like that with her clients.

Thankfully, the merlot I'm sipping doesn't seem to have any political leanings one way or the other!

Cheers!

Missing My "Sole" Mate

Ugh! I've hit the wall again. My sweetie has been on the road for a week and a day now, and I've got the blues. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I'm good for about a week when he travels, and then I'm sad and lonely. The after-work hours are just no fun without him here. I'm eating cereal for dinner instead of his yummy stir fries and soups. It's pathetic.

Eleven days to go until he comes home again. Sigh...

Nice Matters

David passed this award on to me today. I'm honored! I think this has been shared with most of my favorite bloggers by now, so I'm just going to enjoy my little award.

Have a nice day!

Seven Weeks to Go!

Just forty-nine days until we say our vows.

I've spent the morning looking for cake toppers. It's been a fruitless search. Cake toppers seem to fall into two categories: handcrafted and very expensive (like the darling ones above), or tacky and cheap. Since I can't find something cute and affordable, we're not going to have a cake topper at all. That's the way I am. I'd rather go without, than have something that doesn't suit my taste. Our cake will be very pretty without the topper, though. It is going to be all white, with a swirl and dot design and buttercream flowers. Simple and classic.

It's Here!!!

As soon as I walked in the door after work today, the phone was ringing. It was the bridal salon saying that my dress had come in, and I could come pick it up any time. I had just called yesterday and they'd told me then that they expected it this week or next. So, this was a very nice surprise.

I called my mom and asked her to meet me there before I dashed out the door and headed back down to Orange County - where I'd just come from. I left the house so quickly, that I didn't think to grab my camera, or anything else like my bustier and a pair of shoes (I have several pairs here at the house, but haven't made a decision yet). Once there, I was able to try it on. It fits like a glove! Seriously, the only alterations required will be the bustle and a good steaming. It is so beautiful and flattering. I'm just so happy with my choice.

My mom took it home with her because we don't want Michael to see it before the wedding. I'm planning on going over to my parents' this weekend, and I'll take my camera. I'll post some pictures of me in my dress in a few days.

The closer we get, the more real it seems. Wow! What a feeling!

A Whole New Look

I'm loving my new banner thanks to Stephanie! She captured my vision for the theme of this blog beautifully. I'm just thrilled with her design.

Thank you so much, Stephanie! You are wonderfully talented.

Fox-y Friends

A certain someone very near and dear to my heart will be part of a musical performance on this cable news show early tomorrow morning. Let me know if you see him. ;-)

Something to Smile About

Sweet Terri honored me with this yesterday. Thank you, Terri!

This is what the person that created this award says about it:

The thing that I love most about blogging is that I learn so much about a person just by reading their blog. I have met MANY wonderful people with wonderful stories to tell, and I am grateful every day for each person that I have the pleasure of crossing paths in life with. I wanted to create something special for the top ten people who have inspired me through their blogging; the stories they tell, and the lives that they lead with grace and dignity. I visit their blogs for inspiration and encouragement. Although there are MANY people I want to give this award to at this very moment, I am going to choose ten bloggers. Please grab your badge and wear it proudly, and pass it on because you inspire and encourage me, thank you.

So, now it is my turn to pass it on. Here are the ten bloggers I choose:

buttercup - wzgirl is such a good friend to me. Her posts reflect her sense of humor and her creativity. She frequently emails me just to see how things are going for me. She has encouraged me so much this year, and I was thrilled to have the chance to meet her a few months back.

Cherry Blossom Baby - Abbey's mommy has got an amazing life story about overcoming daunting circumstances through faith and perseverance. She's a real inspiration for single mothers everywhere.

Glinda - tender-hearted, poetic, fabulously stylish, and wickedly funny. I love Glinda's blog even though I really have no idea who she actually is. Perhaps one day she will reveal her true identity to us?

Princess Diaries - This single mama of two lovely daughters never complains about all that's on her shoulders. Instead, she constantly reflects on how blessed she is to be raising her girls.

I know that I'm supposed to honor ten bloggers with this, and I could easily do so. However, I promised myself that I'd get out for a walk this afternoon. There's a gentle breeze blowing and it feels like fall (as much as it can in Southern CA). So, I've got to leave it at that for now. Thanks to all of you blogger friends for sharing your lives with me and making me smile!

Another First!

We received our first wedding gift today! It was sent by a friend of Michael's, and it's a hot water air pot. It provides hot water on demand for serious tea drinkers like my sweetie. I have actually become more of a tea drinker than coffee drinker lately, too, so we'll both really enjoy this.

I probably should have waited to open this until Michael gets home (a month from now...), but I couldn't tell it was a gift. So, he'll have to forgive me. There are a lot of boxes arriving here these days. Most of them contain things I've ordered for the wedding. I'll have to check those boxes more carefully so that I don't spoil all the fun for Michael. But, since I opened this one without him, I'll graciously be the one to write the thank-you note. That's a fair trade-off, right?

Eight Weeks to Go!

Eight weeks from today I will become Mrs. L! Wow! The closer we get, the more real it seems. After so many months of waiting for something without a known deadline, it feels very good to know when this wait will end.

There is still much to be done, however.

My latest efforts are to find a beautiful, yet comfortable pair of shoes for the wedding. I ordered the pair below from a bridal salon, but when I picked them up on Friday, I knew they weren't the right shoe for me. Even though I went with a half-size larger than I usually wear, they were pinching my toes and I could envision a painful day in my future if I decided to keep them. However, the bridal salon wouldn't allow me to return them - that's their policy. So, they are for sale on ebay. Any takers? ;-)

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time on the internet shopping for other shoes. I've ordered four pairs to try, and I can return all of them if I don't like the way they feel on my feet. I just want to feel comfortable and free to move around without discomfort on my wedding day. I don't think I should have to wear white tennis shoes or flip-flops to accomplish that either. I'll let you know how my quest for the perfect shoe turns out.

Fly Away Ladybug

Another bittersweet moment...

First, the bitter:

I shed a few tears while packing up the contents of the dresser I'd been keeping for Jillian this afternoon. I remembered all the places I'd shopped for her, and all the friends and family members who'd given gifts in anticipation of her arrival. I now have three plastic tubs full of (mostly pink) baby items. If we have a girl someday, they will be used. If we have boys... Well, then I'll get excited about boy things, won't I? Sigh...

Now, the sweet:

I kept most everything, but there were some items that pertained to China adoption and Chinese culture that I've decided should belong to someone still on that path. So, I'm going to put together a care package for a waiting mommy in Lake Tahoe. I hope she and Annaliese will one day soon be able to enjoy those items together.

Thoughts on a September Evening

I'm just sitting here thinking.

• I received the bridal purse I ordered from Nordstrom the other day, and it had two stains on it! Can you believe it? I'll be making a trip to my local mall to return it this weekend. I ordered a different purse from Blue Tux Shoes instead. If it doesn't have stains, I'll be happy.
• My sister showed me the necklace her daughter has made to coordinate with the bridesmaids' dresses. Rebecca's making matching earrings, too. That girl is so talented! She makes me so proud. I'll have to take a photo when she's done with both sets. Rebecca used beautiful Austrian crystals and a delicate gold link chain. It's so lovely, and I know Julie and Teresa will be able to wear them again and again.
• My dress should be coming in this month. I'm getting a little antsy about it now because I'm sure it will need some alterations, and I don't want to run out of time. The shoes I ordered haven't come in yet either. I think I need to make some phone calls.
• Michael is busy packing up his place. His discard pile and his donate piles are not big enough if you ask me. I'm afraid he is a bit of a pack rat. Yikes! He spent three hours today cleaning out my garage and reorganizing it to make room for his boxes. At first, I thought there would be enough room in there for all his stuff, but now I'm doubtful. He told me he was going to bring over his glassware. Um, his kitchen stuff is a combination of garage sale finds and hand-me-downs. I told him that I have glasses (I d0), and that I have put some glasses on our registries as well, so no thank you. I suggested that all of his kitchen items would make nice donations to the Salvation Army. If I come home to find that he has dropped those off here, I'm not going to be happy.
• His next tour has been extended. He will be on the road for nearly a month starting Monday. I am not happy about the time we'll be apart, but I am grateful for the income all that work will generate. We got webcams this week so that we can see each other when we Skype.
• My coworkers are planning a bridal shower for me next month. I am looking forward to it. This will be the only bridal shower I will have. I have mixed feelings about that. I told my sister not to plan a shower for me because a) she's doing enough, b) we really don't need that much stuff, and c) people are spending a lot to travel and attend our wedding. All very practical reasons, right? But, there is a friend of mine (not Teresa) for whom I threw both her bridal shower and her first baby shower, and it would have been nice for her to have offered to reciprocate. Oh, well... Teresa suggested that she and Julie and I have a spa day before the wedding instead - she also said she'd throw me a shower if I really wanted one when I told her how I was feeling about the situation. But that doesn't feel right to me. So, maybe we'll go to Glen Ivy Hot Springs - Teresa and I spent a wonderful day there a year ago and I'd like to go back with her and Julie.
• I received two more response cards today, and they were my first to send their regrets.
  

I could go on and on. Oh, wait! I already have. This wedding business is all consuming. That's my excuse, anyway.

Somewhere Down the Road...

Not to be forgotten.

The Parents Meet the Parents, And Other Items

We met up with our parents last night at Cafe Tu Tu Tango. I had never been there before, but I'd heard good things about it, so we gave it a try. It's a very funky place. There's original artwork all over the place, and a balloon artist works the room. He was making some really elaborate balloon art like I'd never seen before. At one point, a belly dancer appeared and did her thing all around the dining room. I wanted to try Cafe Tu Tu Tango because it's all small plates, a la tapas, and we so enjoyed dining that way in Madrid. The food was good. More importantly, everyone got along very well and conversation was made easily. Michael's dad generously treated us all to dinner - what a sweetheart. I'd say dinner was a success. I feel really good about having them for my in-laws. They are good people, and they really love their kids.

I received two more response cards today. We now have six confirmed guests! I sure hope people get those back to me sooner, rather than later. I can't order favors or make place cards until I get a final head count. We have a deadline of October 15th, and we'll be making phone calls to any invitees who haven't responded by then. I hope we don't have to do that...

Michael went back to the jewelry district in Los Angeles today to make arrangements for the ring. He'll return after his next run (i.e., business trip) to pick it up. I can hardly wait to wear that shiny goodness on my finger and be Mrs. L!

Last night Michael gave me a big smile and said, "Honey, you're going to be my wife in nine weeks!" I already knew that, of course because I'm counting down the days, but it made me feel really good to hear him say it.

He's starting to pack up his place this week. I don't know where we're going to put everything. I told him make four piles - the stuff he can't live without, the stuff he can store until we build more room here, stuff he can donate, and stuff to throw away. I need to go through my closets and drawers and get rid of stuff, too. We've got 868 square feet. That's it! Yikes!

Lastly, we realized that he has been scheduled to go back on the road just four days after the wedding! Hello! He notified his employer two or three months ago as to our wedding date, and there was nothing booked within two weeks of the wedding at that time. But I guess the show must go on... Fortunately, we had only planned on spending three days on a mini-honeymoon, so it doesn't ruin our plans. But, I really didn't want to be apart so soon after the wedding. So, since the run is short, and since it's in a location at which we we'll be able to stay in a very nice hotel, we decided that I would go with him. I'm glad we were able to work that out, because I would have been sad to come home from my honeymoon and be left behind whilst he took off for a fun weekend elsewhere without me! That just wouldn't have been right.

Happy Girl

I picked up my sweetie at the airport last night. It's so good to have him home! When he travels, I'm fine with it for about a week. After that, I miss him terribly. He's only got one more long run this year, so he'll be home a lot before the wedding. I've got lots of things for him to do - the "Honey Do" list. He's been really good lately with the wedding-related tasks I've given him. At first, he acted like all the wedding planning was just silly girl stuff. But, once we met with our vendors and found his suit last month, he got very interested and excited about the details. It makes a huge difference now that he's enthusiastic. I feel like we're a team now. And planning a wedding requires a team effort. It's a big job.

This morning, my sister helped me customize a necklace, bracelet, and earrings set to go with my dress at redot Designs. It's another one of those sites that won't let me copy a picture. So, if you would like to see the set I chose, you can click here. I think it will be perfect with my dress, and it's something I will wear again. I can't tell you how many necklaces I considered before I found that one, but I spent hours surfing the internet. My sister really helped me narrow it down. The bridesmaids will be wearing custom-made jewelry by my niece. She's a jewelry designer, and you can see her pieces here.

Invitations went out on Tuesday, and I'm hoping to see some response cards soon. I think I'll do a happy dance when the first one(s) arrive. **** UPDATE **** The first response card did arrive in the mail today! It was from my parents' dear friends the Murrays. They have known me since I was in elementary school. It will be wonderful to have them celebrate our marriage with us!

Tomorrow night we're having dinner with our parents. It will be the first time they've met! *** UPDATE *** My FMIL isn't feeling well, so we're postponing dinner until next weekend. *** 2ND UPDATE*** Dinner is back on...

Have a wonderful weekend!

If You Have to Go Away

When I was a younger
I used to dream a lot
Staring into my coffee
About how you'd love me
And write me poetry
And want to be with me, yeah
Well, momma done told me
You might wander far, yeah
But nobody warned me
The road would own your heart

My baby's been on the road too long.

And so I'm saying
If you have to go away
I will be waiting by the phone
And if you have to go away
Ill put your records on
Pretend you're still at home

I don't know what we'd do without the phone or Sky*pe.

Now that I'm older
I sit at home a lot
With the kid we've got, yeah
The radio's playing
He really loves his wife
I hear the d.j. saying
Well momma done told me
You might wander far, oh
As long as you hold me
More than you hold that guitar

He'll be on The Tod@y Show on Friday. It will be the first time I've seen his face in almost two weeks.

I'll keep on saying
If you have to go away
I'll leave your shoes beside the bed
And if you have to go away
I'll want to be with you
I'll be with me instead
If you have to go away
I won't be sleeping very well
But if you have to go away
I'll be loving you
Till its cold in hell

Maybe you'll write me this time
Maybe you'll call on a static line
Saying, "Don't you ever worry your pretty mind
Cause you and me are gonna be fine"

I used to cover this Amy Grant song when I was gigging way back when. Now I'm living the reality of being with a traveling musician. I'm so proud of Michael and that he's able to do what he loves for a living. But I'm so lonesome for him when he's on the road for extended periods of time. I miss how he takes care of me. He takes such good care of me. He cooks for me. He rubs my feet. He makes life a lot of fun.

Hurry home, baby!

Photography

The wedding day may go by in a blur of activity, but the photographic images will be with us for decades to come. That's why it was really important to me to have a talented photographer, and one who used a more photo-journalistic approach to capture the moments, instead of the traditional posed wedding portraits. We're so lucky to have Nancy Sherry of Timeless Treasure Portraits as our photographer. She was included in our package, so I didn't have to go looking for her. Very nice! We met with Nancy on our most recent trip up north, and we were very comfortable with her communication style in addition to being delighted with her photography. I think it's important to feel comfortable with the person behind the camera, as I'm not always comfortable with being in front of the camera. You know what I mean?

I was hoping that a friend of mine would take some pre-wedding/engagement shots of us, but I haven't had any luck with that so far. She leads a busy life. So, I've been looking for a reasonably priced engagement session with a local photographer. I've sent emails to a couple photographers today and I'll see what they come up with.

Some of you, dear bloggers, are such wonderful photographers that I wish we didn't live so far apart. I'd hire Sandra, Jen, or Kris in a heartbeat to take some engagement shots of us!

The Invitations

So, here are the invitations! I have blanked out some personal information, but you get the idea. I think they are gorgeous. I just love these rich, fall colors, and consequently the invitation has been the inspiration for the wedding flowers and other details. I was surprised when my order arrived that the envelopes are red, but I love that, too. They are just perfect for the fall season.

I ordered them from Invitations with Style and they were very affordable. However, I believe they were so affordable because they are laser printed instead of being engraved or some other elaborate printing process. That's okay with me as it just wasn't a priority. I was also limited on the type style. Fortunately for me, I liked what they offered and the price was right. I did notice today that my order is missing envelopes for the matching thank you notes I ordered - they were supposed to be included. So, I've got to follow up on that and see if I can get them sent out to me right away.

Tomorrow, with the help of my mom and my sister, I'll be addressing these and getting them out in the mail come Tuesday. Now before you go feeling sorry for us and all the writing we'll be doing, I must confess that I'm taking a shortcut. I have printed out clear address labels in a beautiful script. It's probably tacky to do so, but my cursive stinks (believe it, or not), my mom has arthritis in her hands, and so my poor sister would have been addressing all of them herself. So, we'll put technology to work for us instead, and hope our guests aren't terribly offended. ;-)